Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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