mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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