You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
