Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
