the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
