I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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