i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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