i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
