Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
