I wish life had little blips of pornography
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
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I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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