you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Randomize
