I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
