Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm passing your future prison.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
