It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
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I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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