I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
