he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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