wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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