put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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