Midget sex pt 2 tonight
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
