Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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