You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
