I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
