I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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