I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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