YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
