You're my little dorito
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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