hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
