I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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