'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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