Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
