PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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