i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
