Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He has the fingertips of a God
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