Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
