I smell stomach acid.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
