thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
