Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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