I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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