"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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