If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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