I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
we're so committed to being not committed
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
