i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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