I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
