if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
