I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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