So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
