if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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