so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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