Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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