me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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