My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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