he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
