I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize