I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
