Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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