i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
