You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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