Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
