The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
