it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Randomize
