Are we in a gay sports bar?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
