She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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