So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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