hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
