I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
