Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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