girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So vagazzling was a success
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
